| Life. Or something like it... |
[May. 5th, 2009|08:45 pm] |
It seems that I only update this thing when I have oodles of time on my hands or when I feel like procrastinating. This time it is the later. Although, I feel as if I have put in my fair share of studying for my upcoming Mass Spec final, I'm certain that it is not enough. The exam, however, is Thursday and this being Tuesday, I feel as if I'm more than justified in taking an hour to myself.
A little more about the exam: I've been studying hardcore since Sunday afternoon and better ace it. It (hopefully) is the last exam in the final class I will ever have to take. I even sat down and calculated the necessary C- I have to get in the class to keep my head above a 3.0 GPA (otherwise I'll be on academic probation, money stops coming in, I have to pay for school, women and small children cry, etc.) I don't think my professor would be dick enough to give me anything below a C-, but he's new and doesn't like me, so who knows...?
Enough talk of the final because every time I think about it, I get a knot in my stomach and I'm on the verge of hyperventilating.
Life since last summer:
The only thing worth mentioning is Alex. We started dating last November and will be celebrating our 6-month this week. I could not be happier with him. Alex is in the Physics PhD program here at ISU (I hang out with the Physics people a lot). He's hoping to go into nuclear physics and will be working at the particle accelerator in Brookhaven, NY this summer. He'll be moving in with me officially on August 1st and we have already shocked many coworkers by seemingly taking that "big step too early." Hooray for judgmental people? Trust me readers, we have discussed the "worst-case scenario" situation. We have it figured out.
He cooks, I clean and we have conversations about science. It is heaven. I'll be taking a vacation this summer out east to see New York City, meet Alex's family, attend his friend's wedding and keep him company on the drive back to Ames. I'm really excited and hope that nothing gets in the way of our plans.
As for the rest of my life: I'm one big boring pile of uninteresting human.
I'm not living in Japan, teaching like Molly and Bobby
I'm not living in China, teaching like Emily
I'm not living in Panama, doing the Peace Corps like Alan
I feel as if my wild, awesome life is still in the distance. I could go someplace cool and do something great, but right now I'm stalled out. That future is out of reach.
As far as research goes:
I'm using my biology skills to suggest a series of experiments for the analysis of protein structure conformational changes using an Ion trap/ion mobility/Q-TOF with three ion sources. For readers who don't understand what that means: I'm looking at cutting the bonds that hold proteins (in this case, insulin) in a specific shape and then analyzing how they change shape...Maybe you're thinking "Megan, that's great, but hasn't it been done before?" (or maybe you're not) and you would be correct, but I'm trying to do it all in the gas phase (which is very new), using a huge instrument (that we lovingly call "Bender").
This is all very exciting because, well, I came up with it. As Stephen Colbert would say: PhD please!
One more interesting tidbit:
I found out a week ago that I received a Graduate College Teaching Excellence Award (or some jargon that sounds similar). I was nominated by the professors for whom I have taught this year. It's actually kind of funny because I really don't want to be a teacher. I don't think that I would find any interest in the daily slog of passing on information, the politics of school systems in general and the frustration with unmotivated students. I know that teaching (especially Chemistry) is a difficult thing and I'm thankful for those who have taught me, but I never had any interest in the profession. Yet, teaching seems to be a recurring theme in my life. It's the only thing that has ever just come to me, without any effort at all. Add to the fact that I guess I'm rather good at it and you have one very confused Megan. I guess that this should quell any and all concerns of ever finding a job when I get out of grad. school (PhD or *gasp* not). They are always ALWAYS in need of good high school chemistry teachers, community college professors or non-research college professors. I should have no problem finding a job...just as long as I don't go all "chemistry teacher turned meth supplier" like Bryan Cranston a la Breaking Bad.
Anyway, not much going on...just wanting to procrastinate for a bit...mission accomplished.
-Meg |
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| Scientists have a sense of humor! |
[Mar. 12th, 2009|03:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | B4 Spedding | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Vents and fluorescent lights | ] |
I was reading on science buzz (a website from the Minnesota Science Museum: www.smm.org/buzz/museum/ask on their "ask a scientist" forum. Every so often, a scientist's work is highlighted and the public is encouraged to submit questions to the scientist. I was reading through Ghidewon Arefe's Q and A section on Quantum Dots when I stumbled across this question and the very cheeky response: Sir Diddy VII of Wiltshire asks: Dear Mr. Arefe: According to howstuffworks.com, IBM successfully put to work an atomic force microscopy instrument in the year 1990 and successfully positioned individual atoms using this device (spelling “IBM” in atoms). Does IBM’s successful manipulation of individual atoms suggest that in the future human beings will be able to arrange individual atoms into any form found in nature? If so, and assuming that atoms truly are the building blocks of life, what do you see as the religious and cultural implications of such developments? Will scientists be able to build “people” from the ground up? Could the U.S. build an army of superhuman fighting soldiers with the strength of Jean-Claude Van Damme and the supple cat-like reflexes of Jet Li? posted on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 3:49pm Ghidewon Arefe responds: Your line of questioning is impressive Sir Diddy VII of Wiltshire, perhaps you should consider a career in law (if you haven't already). Your ability to look into the future amazes me, we could use more people like you in nanotechnology. Work on "nano-clones" is alreay taking place at a super secret research facility in the Pacific northwest. Just kidding (as far as I know). Truthfully, if something like that were to happen, it wouldn't be in our lifetime. In order to mimic nature, scientists would have to be able to completely control all the forces of nature which is not currently possible. Being able to physically arrange atoms into a pattern is one thing, but getting them to support a lifeform is a whole new ballgame. As far as the social implications of such a development, I'm sure it'd cause an uproar as do current aspects of nanotechnology. Who knows what the future holds, but if your idea does come true one day, I'm sure the superhuman soldiers would start out more like Tom Cruise and work their way up to Jean-Claude Van Damme status. And of course, a nano-clone of Chuck Norris would lead the commando unit. posted on Wed, 07/26/2006 - 5:08pm There was also a good question on (Sir) Van Gooch's Q and A forum. For those of you who don't know who Gooch is, he was the UMM professor who almost drew me away from Chemistry to pursue a career in Cell/Molecular Biology...I have done the neurospra-luciferin transfer experiment (with Mike as my partner!) and we got amazingly successful results! Yes, the mold actually glows. Van Gooch responds: Well my first response would be let’s do the research and see if the premise is true. And we would have to put the emphasis either on “eminent”, “biologists”, or “scientists”. But let’s, for the fun of it, assume that scientists tend to grow beards more than the general public and why that might be so. I think scientists might be a little bit more maverick and free-thinking than the general public and this might be related. Maybe it is simply the stereotypic image and the scientist wants to live up to that image.
What about my beard? While I was a graduate student at UC Berkley, I got really sick with bronchitis and was literally in bed for two weeks (no shaving). My girlfriend (now my wife) said she really liked the beard and that I should not shave it off. I have now had the beard for 34 years! The thing I like most is the 10 minutes it saves me every morning not to have to deal with putting sharp blades on my face. posted on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 2:27pm So scientists DO have a sense of humor! =D -Megan |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
It has been a great week for numerous reasons:
Halloween
I went to a Halloween party on Friday and had a great time. Good food, good people and some delicious homemade cider made for a good night. There were lots of inventive costumes such as a star nebula, an authentic Irishman, Morticia Adams, Morten Frost (look it up) and something we couldn't tell what it was. All in all, a good party.
Birthday fun
My birthday this year was pretty much amazing. I decided to not really make any plans beyond sleeping in (not accomplished, but I wasn't that upset) and things just kinda fell into place. Sahana and I started the day with a shopping trip where I bought three new sweaters. Huzzah for warm clothing (especially now that mother nature decided to skip fall weather altogether) and I'm pretty much in love with my new necklace. A few friends and I went to dinner at The Spice (a nice Thai cuisine restaurant) then for ice cream at ColdStone afterwards. Mmmm...Finally, Alex and I went to a local bar: Cafe Beaudelaire and chatted politics with others. It was all unexpected, but somehow absolutely perfect. =)
Election
YES WE CAN! Alex B., Alex S. and I went to Cafe Beaudelaire for their election party and watched as the country made history. We chatted nervously about the numbers as results slowly trickled in, cheered when CNN called it for Obama and cried tears of joy during his victory speech. It was amazing. The event connected us all; a room of otherwise complete strangers.
I'm looking forward to the new administration. I'm hopeful for the times ahead, but am cautious about expecting too much. Obama has a very large job to do and lifting the country out of the funk we're in is going to take a lot of work.
Other races disappointed me, most notably the National House 6th district in MN race and Proposition 8 in California, but I've decided not to let those issues ruin my elation. They're on the back burner and as someone recently said to me: "we'll just punish Bachmann by rendering her helpless in congress." Things seem to work themselves out in the end. I just hope that "end" comes sooner rather than later.
Alan
Alan texted me a very short happy birthday message on Wednesday. It made my day. I could not stop smiling.
(2-25-09) This is about where I stopped writing. I plan to continue the post at a later point...just not now while I'm at work (and have things to do).
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| It's a sad day in the US... |
[Oct. 20th, 2008|10:38 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Gilman 1831 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mechanical pumps | ] |
...when the McCain/Palin camp uses examples of average Americans like "Joe The Plumber" and "Ed The Dairy Man." These descriptive titles make me feel as if I'm living in some wacked out version of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
I'm not 5 and despise being treated as such.
I want to move to Europe, where politicians talk to their citizens as if they are equals, not children.
P.S. I don't know many "average americans" making $250,000+ but I do know many "Jane Out Of A Job" and "Cubicle Bob Working For The Man" who make a lot less. |
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| 100% |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|09:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Plasticities -Andrew Bird | ] |
Two weeks ago I got some fantastic news...
I got a weird call from OTN inc. requesting I call them back. That's it. "Ms. Mekoli, this is OTN inc. please call us back." I was confused. Who is OTN inc.? I called back and confused the operator a bit:
"Ms. Mekoli, we have a voucher for you." She said, rather confused.
"Ummm...okay." I said. "Could you explain what your company is all about?"
"We're a medication distribution company." She recited as if she were reading it straight from a book.
Suddenly, something clicked with me. "OHHHHHHHhhhhhhh." I said. "I think I know where that voucher is coming from."
"Ms. Mekoli, we need a prescription from your doctor." she said.
With a promise to call Birnbaum straight away on Monday, I hung up and promptly dialed NORD (after a hurried conversation with mom).
As many know, I was to be dropped from the parents' insuranceon Oct. 1st rendering a monthly supply for Copaxone to be $2100+. Obviously, this amount of money would be unacceptable...and about 1.5x my current income. I applied to NORD (National Organization for Rare Diseases). NORD is basically a grant that covers all or a percentage of medication costs for rare diseases. It's a rather long application where you must include your current net worth (bank statements, pay stubs, list of assets, etc.) and "anything you believe would help your case (personal statement, letter of explaination, etc.)." I included a statement of good standing from the graduate student advisor a personal letter (basically a plea for help) and unofficial transcripts from both Morris and Iowa State (to show that I'm a good student on my way to a bright future).
Anyway, I called NORD and the woman I talked to said that my application had been accepted!!! The letter of acceptance was sent out the previous day as well as a phone call to the new medication supply company (OTN inc.) to get an account set up for me. The woman at NORD said that sometimes "insurance and the company are really on top of their jobs so that's how people find out."
"I'm just curious," I said. "how much of the cost was I approved for?"
The reply: "100%. You just have to pay the $15 every 3 months for shipping."
I thanked the woman profusely and, still shaking, hung up the phone.
The "grant" is good for one year, at which time I will have to re-apply.
=D |
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| My neighbors must think I'm nuts. |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Masterfade -Andrew Bird | ] |
The only good cricket is a dead cricket. Somehow they find their way into my apartment...well, I live on ground floor, so it's not hard to imagine how they make it in.
I hate them. They're all jumpy and unpredictable (and darn it, they will bite my leg off). So when I saw one about the size of my pinky toe on my bedroom floor about 20 minutes ago, I almost swallowed my tongue. Something had to be done. I couldn't just leave the thing there to devour me in my sleep. I had to take action. While backing slowly from the room, I took my eyes off of it for mere seconds while I rummaged in my entertainment center for the right device with which to kill.
Why not crush it with knowledge? I thought. It works with freshmen, why not with crickets! I grabbed several thick, wrath inducing chemistry textbooks and ran back to the cricket. Poised with the book held high in the air and my body in a half runner's stance pointed away from the deadly beast, I worked up the courage to drop all 997+ dusty pages of Chemistry and Chemical Reactivity, 5th Ed. onto the creature. Twenty three chapters, 15 appendices and various tables of general chemistry goodness came crashing down and I, with all my courage, stifled a scream and ran back a few feet.
Generally I would just leave the book there for a later date, when I could work up enough courage to take care of the leftovers but I knew I would not sleep if I didn't "take care of it." Several layers of toilet paper in my hand, I worked up the courage and peeked under the book to find the monster was not dead. It hopped away from the book as I moved it away and then I really did scream and ran away from the horrific beast.
I tried again with Chemistry and Chemical Reactivity 5th Ed. and successfully trapped it underneath. This time, to ensure a completely dead cricket, I dropped all 1139 pages of Physical Chemistry 7th Ed. on top of Chemistry and Chemical Reactivity, 5th Ed. for a combined 2136+ pages of chemistry. Just to make sure the thing was good and dead, I stood on top of the books and did a small dance that was a combination of the Mexican Hat Dance and Maniac from flashdance. This time, with cup in hand (so as to trap the beast if it had miraculously survived), I slowly removed the books to find a very squashed cricket. Success!
I'm still all jazzed up over my close encounter.
On two random and completely unrelated notes:
-I am in love with the Genius button on the new version of iTunes. It's perfect for me, as I'm overhauling much of my musical tastes and need good suggestions. My new favorite artist: Andrew Bird. 'Sure wish I could whistle like he does.
Downside to Genius: the dangerous amounts of money I want to drop onto iTunes in exchange for many hours of delicious music. I think it's named Genius not for the highly accurate musical taste suggestions, but for the amazing marketing ploy Apple has concocted.
-"Scientists" were number 4 on Steven Colbert's Threatdown. Hysterical.
-Meg
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| You start, you start to panic... |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|10:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  too much emotion | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lost Girls -Tilly & the Wall | ] |
...and your courage starts to vanish.
School started on Monday.
316L
Although I'm not happy that I'm on TA this semester (as opposed to RA, research), I AM happy with the class I got. I won't be suffering through an entire semester of the Science Writing Heuristic (SWH, a frustrating method of teaching) and dealing with lots of scared, homesick freshmen. I'll be teacing 316L: Instrumental Analysis for upperclassmen (Juniors and Seniors). I have absolutely no idea how I lucked out in getting this teaching assignment, but I'm happy I got it. For those non-chem people out there, Instrumental Analysis is learning about instruments (how they work, what they can do, how to fix them, etc.) My limited experience in instrumental includes the semester I took at UMM (and people thought I was crazy, pfah) and the year of ELEMENT (our ICP-MS) troubleshooting. Instrumental at UMM did not cover half of the instruments my students will be covering this semester, so this will be a learning experience for ALL of us. The first page of the TA manual tells me to consider myself lucky because I will develop major marketable skills for when searching for a job. Knowledge of these instruments beyond the scope of being a student will definitely help me out later on. Teaching the course is a front-loaded job. The students stagger starts and times on the instruments, so I need to know how to do ALL of the experiments and make sure 4 of the 12 work fine. It's a ton of work in the beginning, but really light after the first month. I keep going through a range of emotions with this class. I'm excited about it and all the opportunities that come with it, but I'm nervous about all the work and troubleshooting I have to do.
So today was a frustrating day with prepping for the first experiment. The labs are large and pretty much covered in drawers jammed full of equipment for each of the instruments and their accompanying experiments. The term "organized mess" doesn't even begin to describe this lab. Unfortunately, it's not my organized mess so it took me an hour and a half to gather all the materials necessary to do a simple dilution of trichloracetic acid (TCA). I almost burst into tears twice today. The first instance was because it took me 20 minutes to find blank labels for the solution I made. The second time I almost burst into tears was because I couldn't find a single working pipette bulb in the entire lab. So along with excited and nervous, add frustrated to the list.
Talking to Stan
The new femto second (fs) laser is almost up and running, which means we'll have a cool new toy to play with once Ellie decides to start working (we've been having trouble keeping a vacuum and now the software is acting screwy). Stan says that I can pick up on a forensics project that Nathan never got around to finishing. It's investigating the individual strands that make up copper wire. Apparently, there is evidence that the strands are statistically different from each other even though they are bundled together. It has forensic applications and there is a definite need for a developed method (think pending court case) . The wire won't be too expensive even though Cu is through the roof at the moment, (I'm sure this sounds familiar to you Kristen) because we already have the wire and I won't have to waste time untangling it all because Nathan has already done that. Stan says that it's an easy publication and needs only a bit more work. I'm just happy because I'll have something for my oral in a little over a year's time.
Class
I'm finally seeing a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel I call "courses hell." I'm taking my second-to-last course ever and I am pretty excited about it. Only one more required course left and that's Mass Spec. |
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| Mixed day... |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|12:57 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Pink chair | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | distant hum of someone's air conditioner | ] |
My day:
-Had multiple "discussions" with a Certain Person in my group. Discussions are more like arguments that are impossible to "win." Today's subject that got to me: why it's stupid of me to need new shoes (the treads are gone on mine from tennis and the rubber in the front is starting to peel away from the leather) because my shoes don't look like Certain Person's.
-Hopes of being funded trashed by one reviewer who doesn't understand the term "Grad Student" is synonymous with "Slave Labor." It is "highly unlikely" that I received a grant. I guess there's always the re-submission deadline in October and the knowledge that the Midwest Forensics Resource Center (MFRC) received $3.1M from the government to give away as grants should give us a better shot.
-Got to see the new laser. Freakin' sweet. Huzzah for femto-second pulse length and crazy energy for ablation...now all I need is the funding for a project and I'll be able to use it...
-Ellie decided to randomly start working again...well, for now she's holding the vacuum fairly well (owing to the change of the fore pump and temperamental Turbos that have decided they want to work.
-Played tennis with Alex and his new racket. Got tired, went home and was called by Gerry whose racket was in my trunk...ran back to the courts and spent another few hours out there playing...'Got hit by one of Gerry's smashes at the net *expletive, expletive, expletive* and will have a very nice bruise on my leg. Also, reached a new level of sucking at tennis that standing on the court was almost completely pointless at times.
-Gerry made my day by telling me that if I would be teaching Gen Chem, I would have gotten an e-mail today (I didn't)...he said that he saw the list of people who were teaching gen chem and my name wasn't on it. That means I'll be teaching either 211 (Quantitative and Environmental Analysis for Emily Smith) or 316 (Instrumental Methods Analysis for Dr. Houk). Either way, no recitations (woot!) and minimal grading time (woot woot!)
So I guess a mixed day. Being denied a funding opportunity is cause enough to vent frustrations and calm myself down a bit...I'm just sad that tennis didn't go better for me tonight. It left me feeling a tad...empty.
Here's hoping tomorrow is better.
-Meg |
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| I'm a tall buldings and trees kind of girl |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|01:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Spedding Hall B8 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cataracts -Andrew Bird | ] |
Events of the past weekend:
Visiting Molly
Molly is home from Japan so I drove up to MN and we did some dining and shopping. Clothes shopping all day Friday was a distinct success. I ended up getting two pairs of pants for a grand total of $24. Sweet. Among the other purchases were four shirts, a pair of earrings and a pair of sunglasses. We met up with Liz (who was down from Duluth for a wedding) and all went to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. It was wonderful to see those girls again.
Somehow things actually seemed to have changed with all of us. I visit my high school friends and things are roughly just as we left them in the middle of 2003. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Liz and Jeff have been married for a year and Molly and Bobby are engaged. Subjects such as babies and weddings aren't as taboo as they once were and we all were a little more relaxed owing to the absence of exams, homework, etc. It made me feel grown up; an odd spot to be in considering I generally still feel like a 12 year old kid.
Visiting Alan and Laura/Alan's Goodbye
Alan is going to Panama for the Peace Corps. He'll be leaving August 11th, so I visited for one last goodbye before he is eaten by panthers or carried away by giant mosquitoes in the jungle. Saturday night, we went swimming in Cedar Lake (in Minneapolis) and then caught the breathtaking Aquatennial fireworks display.
I love fireworks. They make me feel like a little kid and I can't help the huge grin on my face throughout the entire display. Oooos and ahhhhhs escape my lips and I still point at them while exclaiming "pretty!" like a 2 year old. There's just something magic about a good display that makes it difficult to be in any sort of a bad mood.
We took off to Taylors Falls (about an hour north of the Cities), canoed, camped and did a little stargazing (another one of my favorite activities that makes me feel like a little kid). The sky was crystal clear and the stars were amazingly bright. I saw multiple satellites and even a few shooting stars. Gorgeous.
Monday we went hiking in Pothole State Park and then down to a waterfall in Osceola, WI. Stunning. There are lots of pictures on facebook, check them out!
I have since realized that I'm a "tall buildings and trees" type of person. Minnesota, especially the Cities, appeals to me because of the plethora of tall buildings (OMG, culture!) while still offering lakes and parks right in the city and a forest with campgrounds within an hours' drive away. Denver and western Colorado also appeals to me for the same reasons. Trees are just so...amazing. They turn in the fall to reveal their true inner selves and there's something so honest and comforting about that. I am not an "open spaces" person, though one might think otherwise. I realize that all living choices I made thus far have landed me in the middle of see-for-miles country, but I see these places as stepping stones on the way to a trees and tall buildings future. I guess I could compromise the two for rolling hills...maybe.
Forensics Grant
The forensics grant Stan, Nathan and I filled out is due for an answer any day now. I've been waiting since May for a reply and if I hear something soon, I may not have to teach fall semester. Cross your fingers! I guess I wouldn't mind teaching fall semester, but really don't want to teach the fall of my third year...that's when I have to take the oral exam. Scary.
All in all, a great weekend that allowed me to clear my head. I would repeat the whole thing if I could! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|11:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | B4 Spedding | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silence | ] |
Michele (Justin's wife) and I bought season tickets to the Civic Center in Des Moines. Here's the lineup of shows:
Frost/Nixon 10/05/08
Spring Awakening 01/25/09
Legally Blonde 03/01/09
The Color Purple 04/12/09
Wicked 10/04/09
It came out to be about $34/show and we have fantastic seats on the main floor...not bad!
I have seen Wicked already (in Chicago) but it can't hurt to see it again! So now I'm wondering what everyone thinks of the others?
-Meg |
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| Nothing to do... |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|03:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Spedding B4 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Steal My Soul -Watson | ] |
So I'm at work right now with absolutely nothing to do but check in on a few bottles every so often. We're acid vapor washing our entire stock of Teflon containers (it's not a hard procedure, just takes forever) and distilling some nitric acid in hopes that it becomes ultra pure so we can use it in high sensitivity experiments (think refluxing that looks more like a plumbing job). Some of the guys have taken to cleaning out one of our many cluttered labs, which generally means organizing (because we never throw anything away) and a lot of "what this is? What does this do?" I'm staying away from there because as Derrick put it: there are too many cooks in the kitchen.
What better way to pass my time than updating my livejournal?
Recent events
4th of July was an interesting affair. We all went over to Gina's place, played bags, grilled, drank and hung out. Some of the guys thought it would be great to blow up a few watermelons with some fireworks and the entire evening ended somewhere around 3 a.m. It was nice to chill with my friends without having to worry about anything in particular.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to look at the release of Zn, Cu and P in traumatized rat brains. I learned so much with the project, not only about Ellie (what we lovingly call our instrument), but also about how the brain functions when it has been put under stress. There's no better way to cause a brain stress than to cut off its supply of blood (i.e. chopping off the head, extracting the brain and performing a quick dissection to retrieve the hippocampus). The brain slices needed about an hour to soak in a saline solution, during which time they were revived (yes, they actually came back to life). We stimulated the slices with a high potassium saline solution and analyzed the runoff using ICP-MS. It was freaking sweet and we obtained results that Alan (our collaborating scientist) said were "Anal. Chemworthy." Hurrah for eventual publication #2! It was a pretty cool project and the Alan said he will have more work for me in the future. This time I will be comparing the elemental makeup of normal Drosophila (fruit flies) to manic-depressive ones. Pretty sweet!
I've been playing lots of tennis lately. It's actually kind of frustrating because I feel (and know) I'm not good enough to be any sort of a challenge, but good enough to where I could be if I practiced a little more. The problem is just getting over the suckiness hurdle. I know that I can scramble for balls at the net and run down quite a few of them when I have to, I just don't know how to put any decent spin on the ball (and don't want to waste anyone's time just messing around while I try to learn). I know I have to work on my serve (because I just found the right technique), but that can be done by going out by myself with a bag full of balls. I'll keep plugging away at it and maybe I'll eventually get better.
The shopping Gods were smiling upon Gina and me last weekend. Gina needed an outfit for a wedding she'll be attending, so we hit up JC Penny and both found $60 dresses marked down to $19.99! I love my dress, but need an event to which I can wear it. It's a summer dress, so I could just wear it around some weekend, but it seems way too fancy for any normal weekend activity. Couple that to the fact that none of my friends wear dresses and I work in a lab (where dresses and halter tops are strictly prohibited), it looks like the dress may stay on the hanger for awhile.
Perhaps more to come...
-M |
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| Another update. |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|12:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Blaine | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  shocked | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fool For Your Love -Watson | ] |
Another year gone and another MRI. Results are very much mixed...
Good news: The lesion found last year on my spinal cord is gone! It must have healed itself and not scarred over. I'm a little puzzled because although I have heard about lesions healing, I was under the impression those events were rare. Perhaps it was a flaw on the film or perhaps it actually was a lesion that healed...whatever, the point is that it's not there now!
Bad-ish news: I have 4 new significant lesions and a bunch of expansions of old/existing ones. Four new lesions are definitely better than 10, but definitely worse than zero.
Good news: There is no recent activity (within the last 6-8 weeks or so) around ANY of my lesions. A sign that if I was in a more relapsing stage (at some point during the past year), I am now in a remitting stage. This is great and I hope it stays that way.
Good news: I have not had a relapse incident (think optic neuritis) despite the 4 new lesions. A sign that my brain seems to be compensating for any damage that has been done.
Good news: My physical evaluation was roughly the same as it was last year. I have not gotten any weaker (perhaps slightly, but I'm blaming my left hand weakness on a minor wrist strain from a wild swing in tennis. Alex, if you read this, I do have a bruise on my cheek from when you hit me last week.)
Bad news: I'm in what my doctor calls the "gray area." Having been on Copaxone for almost exactly 2 years now, he seemed to want more "improvement" than what we're seeing. Like I said, 4 new lesions is certainly better than 10, but it's not as good as zero. Adding this to my lack of relapsing incidents and my physical exam, the whole picture is very mixed. Dr. Birnbaum said that if I want to change medications, he would support my decision, but I do not have to change. BUT if I have a relapse (in any form), I am under strict instructions to call him immediately and we will change to a different medication. I will be sticking with Copaxone for another year (until my next exam in a year whereupon we will re-evaluate and make a decision), unless I have a relapse. I was given packets of information and told to "consider the two options."
So...Now I have to do research...all over again, though I am very flattered that he finds me capable of making this decision. I have two options: Rebif and Beta Seron, neither of which sound as "friendly" (if you can call it that) as Copaxone.
Both are injections. I asked about the current pills (yes, pills!) currently going through the preliminary trials, but Dr. Birnbaum said that unless there were tons of reliable studies indicating the pills were more effective than the current drugs, he would not take a chance on prescribing those (if they make it to the market). Boo, but understandable.
Anyway, both my options are injections, but aren't taken as often as Copaxone. Rebif is taken three days a week and Beta Seron is every other day. Though this sounds great, I may be more susceptible to forgetting when I've taken it last.
Both have (possible) side effects that are less than ideal: Flu-like symptoms, depression, pain and headaches. Flu-like symptoms are very common and many people take Tylenol before to assist in alleviating symptoms. Flu-like symptoms can go away altogether over time or they can stick around for as long as the patient uses the medication (everything is so variable). They both seem to interfere with my lifestyle. I can't be taking off of work and missing class all the time because I am nauseous or "feel icky." I know that being healthy takes precedence over being uncomfortable and "feeling icky," but I have heard of a lot of people switching to Copaxone for that reason.
Decisions...
Bad news: I have to lose about 20 lbs. No f-ing clue how I'm going to do that seeing as I've been working my ass off to lose weight over the past 6 weeks and have not lost a single pound. Great.
I'm kind of in shock about all of this. I don't really want to make a decision because I like the medication I'm on right now. Everything seems to be so variable and up in the air. It's disturbing my plan for everything life and just puts that much more pressure on me over the next year. Generally, I'm really open about it all, but I have a lot to think about and don't really want to talk about it much. Questions are always welcome, but if answers come back all muddled and piecemeal, know that I'm still trying to work it all out.
Good news: Dr. Birnbaum and I bonded over our belief that Macs are far superior to PC's. We shared a couple of minutes trash-talking PC's and gushing over Mac capabilities (like two schoolgirls). Then we bitched about the MRI imaging results are only PC compatible. (yes, I have "ordered" a copy of my most recent scan, so if any of my friends with PC's were interested...we could have a viewing)
'Looking forward to returning to Ames, work and the gym. I hate sitting around when there's lots to think about.
-Meg |
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| '08 Flood |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|06:06 pm] |
I've been getting a lot of calls recently from people who are wondering if I'm alive or floating down the river.
This is to put everyone's mind at ease: I'm fine.
We generally have floods when areas north and west of here get crazy amounts of rain.
Ames flooded two weeks ago, but it wasn't horrible. They had to close a few main line streets including Stange, 4th , 6th South Duff and part of Hwy 30. I did drive by some of the worst of the flooding, by where they've broken ground for the new Community Aquatic center (thanks to the flooding, the Aquatic Center is finished now! ; ) ) and in one area where the horses from Vet. Med. are let to pasture, the water was all the way up to the road. The grassy area where we played soccer and ultimate frisbee last August was a pond and the golf course was ruined. We did have to move our softball games last week because the diamonds we usually use were under about 2 feet of water (very muddy games the last two weeks). They had to evacuate a retirement home (the residents moved into one of the dorms for a brief period) and lots of basements flooded.
BUT...I'm on a hill and far away from any rivers, so I am completely fine. In fact, I played tennis last night next to the soccer fields, which had flooded about 2 weeks ago.
This recent flooding in Des Moines was caused by a large amount of rain we (in Ames) received earlier in the week (something like 3 inches overnight). I'm just glad it wasn't cold enough to snow!
The local TV stations have been continual coverage of the flooding. I may end up volunteering with the clean up down in Des Moines once the rivers recede. At least we don't have to spend all of our research time sandbagging like those poor people at the University of Iowa (Suckers! We won all the CyHawk competitions AND we didn't flood...yes, I know that was horrible of me but I don't really mean it).
Other things in my life and coming up on the horizon:
-Dr. Houk is gone the next two weeks...work is going to be quite slow.
-Yearly MRI this Friday
-Yearly Birnbaum appointment the Thursday after...I'm really nervous for the MRI results and his yearly reminder of "you need to lose weight" (though I have been eating healthier and working out like crazy). Last time, the shots were helping. I'm crossing my fingers that they still are.
-Chemistry softball is a mixed bag. I like getting out and chilling with the other chem kids, but find that it is boring...unless we play Selena's team (who keep up a healthy banter that would keep a kid with ADD focused and entertained). It's great, but around the 4th inning I find I would much rather play tennis.
-I can finally light the plasma on the ELEMENT (Ellie) by myself without help. Next step: tuning.
-Coldplay's Viva la Vida comes out on Tuesday. I couldn't be more excited!
-I have been playing lots of tennis with Gerry recently and Alan has pretty much been replaced (sorry buddy)...I still miss the smoothies and a good browse through the lifestyle section of the StarTrib. afterwards, though.
-I actually missed Morris for the first time the other day. I was staring out the window of the bus at the setting sun and found myself thinking: I really miss the wind turbine and acres of farmland. I want the Science Building back! The lapse was brief and it kind of freaked me out because I never once missed it before; not even as I was leaving for the last time after I graduated.
-I have come to the conclusion that I am a much different person than I was a year and a half ago while at the same time feeling as if I have not changed much. For the most part, I like the new person I am. My life is about chemistry so I've been relating to life as if I were in an energy diagram. It's taken people awhile to find their ground state (and where they fit in the spectra) but I feel as if I've always been in the ground state. There might be a shift to a different diagram with new situations and events, but I feel as if I've been stable in my energy diagram of life.
Alright, enough of the chemistry talk now.
-Meg |
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| Maybe seeking shelter should have been a good idea... |
[May. 25th, 2008|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | BLAINE, MN | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | PBS on TV | ] |
About the same time that this was all going on, I ran outside to move my car. I was planning on going down to the St. Paul Saints game (local minor league baseball team) when the tornado sirens went off and my parents and I (instead of taking shelter down in the basement) sat upstairs and commented on how dark the sky was getting.
Mitch was over at his girlfriend's house with Mom's car. Mom joked that she should call him and tell him to throw his body on top of the car to protect it from the hail.
Oh, and by the way, it's BLAINE not Blain.
UPDATE: CNN changed the story, so it's not the same as it was. Originally, Coon Rapids (where there was a funnel cloud in the area of Hanson, Foley and Hwy 10, VERY close to my house) and Blaine (spelled Blain) were mentioned.
-Meg |
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| racing to the "finish" |
[May. 8th, 2008|11:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Pink chair | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silence | ] |
ONE MORE THING LEFT TO DO!!!!!! THEN I'M DONE!!!!!!! ...until Monday.
...Just this group meeting power point presentation. It's actually a really cool subject: Detecting GSR (gunshot residue) using ICP-MS. The most interesting part is that the research is coming out of Sao Palo, Brazil.
Anyone see City of God? If you haven't...see it.
It's amazing that in a city ridden with horrible crime is still taking gigantic leaps forward to solve their problems instead of sticking with the "tried and true" methods. We certainly aren't seeing anything like this come out of Detroit or NYC. Though some of their presentation of the data (in the paper) is a little shoddy, the articles are still very credible because of where they originated.
Yes, I am aware that I have never shot/held a real gun in my entire life...suddenly, I need to become an expert.
Two finals done and two classes passed. I assume I passed Forensics Seminar too. Let's not forget about Safety...'passed that too. Now I just have to take laser safety training and possibly some sort of electricity specialty training...oh, and sprains and strains specialty training. THEN I can work in lab. Life working in a government lab: hooray for red tape?
Well, back to my presentation.
-M |
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| Notes |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|09:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Episode II | ] |
-I finally caught Breaking Bad on AMC. Every time it's on, I've been on the phone, at school, studying or doing other stuff. The series is about a high school chemistry teacher who teams up with one of his hooligan students to produce and sell meth.
-There's been a lot of death recently. It's been prevalent enough that it's worked its way into my dreams and I awoke last night in the middle of a nasty nightmare, tears streaming from my eyes. I hope, that with the changing season, will come a change in attitude.
-Iowa is going smoke free come July 1st. I couldn't be happier about it. No more coming back from the bar and smelling like a disgusting ashtray.
-Spike is replaying all the Star Wars movies in chronological order. RIght now I'm watching Episode II: Attack of the Clones. The one where Yoda fights Count Dooku. It's a cool scene, but CGI animation takes away some of the authenticity of Yoda. I can't describe why...it just does.
-There are two weeks left until the end of the semester. Only two exams (finals) and a presentation for group meeting left for me. I'm nervous for the presentation only because I haven't picked out a paper yet. I plan to do that as soon as I get some time tomorrow.
-No snow for us in Iowa, though it has been really cold. Sorry to everyone in MN hoping to graduate outside this year...I'll be hoping that it doesn't snow for you all.
-Still no word on the forensics research proposal. I'm being funded on an RA this summer on what Dr. Houk says will be a laser project. I'm not so sure what that means. We just got a new femtosecond laser and are trying to make the case for a new muliti-collector. Chris is going to design a new torch that will allow more throughput and less loss of sample between the skimmer and sampler cones. Both of these additions require a new instrument and we are going to be making the case for a new one. I'm going to keep crossing my fingers for a new one. Maybe an E2 or a Neptune...
-I played the Wii for the first time. Someone went out and bought MarioKart at the midnight release and I got to play about a half hour it came out. I figured it was a brand new game so there was a level playing field and I wouldn't make a complete fool of myself.
That's about it for now...I guess I'm a rather boring person. |
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| Very sad, but only Mekoli's can make it humorous... |
[Apr. 24th, 2008|10:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Apartment | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Colbert Report on TV | ] |
Unfortunately, I have some bad news for the Mekoli family. Pete Mekoli White has passed away of natural
causes (I know what you are thinking but yes, it was natural causes).
He had been having a hard time moving around in the last few days.
Below listed is the obituary:
Pete Mekoli- White
Born: unsure, aproximately 2 years old
Died: April 18, 2008
Preceeded in death by Lumpa
Siblings: many ?
Children: None that we know of, but who knows
Pete lived a good life with Megan Mekoli in the beginning years but due to space availability,
Pete was adopted by the White family after the recent death of Lumpa. Pete was a simple hamster and didn't
ask much of anyone but to be fed (which we did do everyday) and have a clean cage. He resided in Jessica's
room and lived the rest of his days there happy (except for when Ginger was brought into the picture).
Pete loved best was to run on his squeaky wheel in the middle of the night, luckily, Jessica was a heavy
sleeper and so was Leslie and Scott. Pete has been buried in the neighbors yard. There was a small turnout
for the memorial done by the White children and some of the neighbor kids came that didn't even know Pete.
Some tears were shed but he is in a much better place and is comparing notes with Lumpa in the big rat heaven
in the sky.
Cards and money can be sent to the White House in lieu of flowers please. Lumpa: The White's old rat
Jessica: my cousin
Ginger: The White's new puppy
Leslie and Scott: my aunt and uncle
-Meg |
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| RIP Ben |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|01:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Ben (one of my fellow TA's) died on Saturday. He had epilepsy and had a seizure while in the shower. He fell, hit his head and died.
Although I wasn't friends with him for long, I still considered him to be my friend. One of his recitations was in the same room and right before mine so when his class ran late or I would show up early, he was always willing to chat for a few spare minutes. I remember the last chat we had on Friday was a lot of joking around about VEISHEA and the "ultimate party weekend." He was really entertaining too. I distinctly remember having a conversation about drunk fighting when we were at the bar last. He was telling me about his friend, who picked a fight with a bunch of lacrosse players and he, Ben, had to talk the beefy guys out of coming over to his house and beating the crap out of his friend. Not the most graceful story, but definitely memorable.
I remember (when driving him home after a grading session) he told me that he slept on his living room couch because it was much more comfortable than his bed, which was too soft.
Last time I spoke to him, I told him to "take care." I hope he does. |
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|
| Update on "Update on MS" |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|10:48 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lidia's Kitchen on TV | ] |
Jane, Dr. Birnbaum's nurse called me back. I described my symptoms to her and she said that instead of flushing, it sounds like I am having systemic reactions to the medication.
From what I understand, systemic reactions are the result of me mainlining (injecting directly into a vein) the medication. That's why the reaction is more violent than a flushing episode. Jane suggested that my veins are closer to the surface of my skin than most people's and I should "cool down" the site before I inject to constrict the veins. She also said that there is NO NEED to call 911 unless I am uncomfortable with the reaction.
I'm happy that there is an answer to my questions, but a little disappointed that there isn't a quick fix. Cooling down the injection site before the injection is a good idea, but that doesn't guarantee the reaction won't happen again. I also know that I shouldn't expect a quick fix to medical problems, but for once I'd love to have an answer, however small it may be. |
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| Update on MS |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|11:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home...bed... | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Will Follow You Into the Dark -Death Cab for Cutie | ] |
I guess everyone is due for an update regarding this illness...
I have recently been flushing a lot.
Flushing, for anyone who doesn't know, is what I imagine a heart attack feels like. It starts about 30 seconds after I take my shot. First, I get a tingling in my right arm/shoulder blade and then all the blood rushes to my face. It becomes very difficult to breathe (like someone is sitting on my chest) and my heart races. These symptoms last for about 20-30 minutes. Next, I get very nauseous and puke for quite awhile (30 min-1hr) and finally have diarrhea and stomach cramps for another hour or so. The stomach cramps are the worst because it feels like someone is taking a fork and slowly digging it into my abdomen. I generally return to normal (or just really tired) after this.
Flushing, from what I've been told, may happen once or possibly twice within a lifetime of Copaxone use. Last Sunday marked the third confirmed occurence, and each incident has been getting worse.
Curascript (the company from whom I receive my medication) has an option to talk to a nurse, so when they called to schedule my next package, I talked to her. She told me that three times within 8 months is too often and that I should talk to Birnbaum, my neurologist. She also asked if the weather changing had anything to do with the number of occurrences increasing...perhaps. I know that Sunday was the first time I took my medication at home (it's spring break so I'm back in Blaine). She also said that the flushing generally lasts between 5 and 15 minutes and any time longer than that, I should call 911. She then reiterated that I should talk to Birnbaum about it all.
I have a major dilemma. Calling 911 is too expensive, especially because I know it will eventually be over and then I'll be stuck at the hospital with a large bill over nothing but a stupid, expected side effect. At the same time, I would like to figure out what is causing this to happen so often and/or possibly do something (anything) to lessen the symptoms and occurrences. Don't get me wrong, I will call 911 if something is incredibly wrong but I know I will survive a flushing episode. I can't justify calling 911 for that.
I have called Birnbaum and was told that his nurse, Jane, will get back to me soon. I'm hoping she'll call tomorrow or Friday. I'm fine, but worried. I don't want to go off of Copaxone...especially because its side effects are the most mild of the three current treatments. I'm due for a check up sometime in early spring. I was waiting until school got out to visit him so I don't have to miss teaching or any of my classes.
Other than the flushing episodes, I feel fine. I've noticed I've been more tired, but I'm chalking it up to staying up late and getting up early every day. I also think it's because I've been incredibly busy this semester. All of it is probably wearing me down (which is why Spring Break is great...I love sleeping).
I'm also mostly over the sickness that stole my voice a couple weeks back. I find that I'm still a little squeaky, but nothing like the "teenage boy" sounding I was at.
I'll have another update when I hear from Jane/Dr. Birnbaum.
-Meg |
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Why do so many eminent biologists grow beards?